Being unable to deal with conflicts at work can have long-lasting negative consequences for any employee. It can lead to more stress, less motivation, and overall, less satisfaction at work.
By learning effective communication techniques to be more assertive and to deal with conflicts at work, you’ll be able to dramatically improve the quality of your work environment.
Here are 5 practical tips you can use right now to deal with conflicts:
1. Paraphrase. Paraphrasing means you’ll repeat what the person said to be sure you understood it correctly. For example, if someone asks you to do A then B then C, you can ask them: “So you want me to do A then B then C, correct?”.
Using this technique will avoid a lot of misunderstandings. Most people think that the other person knows exactly what to do and that they have the same information as they do which is rarely the case.
So by double-checking it, you’ll avoid a lot of headaches and uncomfortable moments.
2. Understand the big picture. When you deal with conflicts, you want to understand the problem globally. You want to understand further than just why the report was not on your desk. You want to understand who was involved, and what happened and have a clear vision of the big picture.
For example, instead of telling your employee “The report was not on my desk this morning, are you capable of doing anything correctly?”. You can ask them what happened and maybe you would have learned that he emailed you the report instead of putting it on your desk.
3. Understand the different points of view. Everyone has different points of view. That is what makes human beings unique and complicated at the same time. People have certain beliefs, values, needs, wants, motivations, and fears that will drive their points of view.
That’s why you should ask yourself this simple question “Why is this person thinking that way?”.
For example, you have a conflict about different schedules. You could ask the person “Why do you need to have this Saturday off?”. You may learn a member of their family is sick and they need to take care of them.
By asking key questions to understand their points of view, you’ll better understand why the conflict exists.
Another important point is to respect their point of view and never judge it. You can disagree with them, but you don’t need to make them feel inferior.
4. Use empathy. Empathy means that you understand their situation. When solving conflicts, you want to create an emotional bridge between you and the other person that says “I understand where you are coming from. I understand your situation. I understand how you feel”.
You can use simple sentences like “I understand that..” or “I understand how..” so you can create that emotional link.
It then becomes YOU and THEM trying to find a solution. Not YOU versus THEM.
5. Define what you want to compromise and not. Your goal is to find a common solution to solve a conflict. What are you willing to compromise? What is non-negotiable?
By answering these questions before any difficult situation, it can help you understand your game plan.
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